Levels of quiet.

I can't really quiet the chorus in my head. Angels and demons oversimplifies it with a false cast of black and white. Still, it is amazing when you can find someone who makes the crowd in your head pause and almost silent, calm, relaxed. That is when my face to the world and the pool inside me reflect the same.

It's Complicated.

Sometimes, I wish I could take back every time I ever said that I'd rather live an interesting life than any other kind. Why didn't I pick easy? Rich? good, whatever that means (and don't get me started, that is a fucked up word)?

I'm not saying my life is some hard tragedy, just that in those areas where I'd love things to be easy, it never is, and is those areas where I want things to be hard and challenging, often they just lose importance and power and end up easy. Or so it seems.

In other news, I've battled this strange eye inflammation issue for awhile, and have worn my glasses for the longest period since I was in high school. I don't like it. I also am amused that they'll never really know the source of my inflamation, just like they never figured out why my brother was sick a couple of years ago. Sometimes, it seems like there's a little too much that ends up unexplained in life, and well, I'm not the kind of person to be comfortable with that. I'm comfortable with the new, and making new things happen, and plunging forward into new experiences, but I suck with things I can't explain and understand.